The Farewells Begin.

On Friday night I said goodbye to my brother, Stephen, since he's on a skiing trip with his senior class and won't be back until Friday - after I leave. That was kind of weird, in the sense that it didn't seem honest. I don't mean that I didn't actually feel that I would miss him, but said so; the actuality itself didn't seem honest. Just like when I wake up in the morning and he and Jason are already at school, but they aren't really gone. I'll see them in a few hours. But that's not true now...I won't see him again until the summer. Until after he's graduated from high school. Until he's almost ready to leave, himself. But it feels like I'll see him in a few hours.

I said goodbye to people at church yesterday. That didn't seem as strange, because I haven't been going there for an awfully long time yet, but it was still somewhat saddening that I won't be in what has already become my refreshing spiritual home for a good while.

Today, though, was farewell to Messiah. It's surreal in the same way that it was with my brother, and I think a lot has to do with the inescapable fact that that place and those people have in so many ways become my home. I see my friends there as family, and a fantastic family at that. All my life I've had a very small circle of friends, and I'm still getting used to having a veritable city or town of them. This past semester seemed to be themed around that, though. Such strong relationships built, and hopefully that building will continue.

Unlike with Stephen, though, that's not necessarily known to the point where it's taken for granted. So I do want to say, to those of you from Messiah College...I love you. Honestly. Nathan, Sam, Evan, Chris, Doug, Larissa, Alanna, Margeaux, Devin, Emily, Kierstin, Drew, Matt, Melanie, Kelly, Kate, and others whom I can't remember right now because I'm tired (but you know) - you were my closest friends and I am humbled and honored to have shared in a part of your lives. I look up to you guys to the point of even starting to talk like you (which I hope didn't get too weird).

Everyone else I knew, though, please don't count yourselves out or think that I don't care about you. I love all of you too, and we had some fantastic times. Amanda, Meredith, Jenny, and Kathleen, those dinner parties in your apartment were definite highlights of my year. Margeaux and Jamie and the Phils and that whole group, you made every Thursday a delightful time of transparent fellowship; I can't describe how special that was. Hanging out in Wunderland with the Wunders and friends from the Restoration House was the perfect autumn experience (Jenny's pumpkin still should've won...definitely not yours, Evan); marveling at the Morandi exhibit and playing chess in sunny Central Park with Matt, Dana, and Will; visits from Jen and Jenay and Alejandro; smoking a Nicaraguan cigar and discussing The New Pornographers with Dave on a gorgeous afternoon; even the great conversations and friendships made in classes, all of these things made this year so memorable. I wasn't in an exotic location, like Italy. You made my life colorful, you made boring Grantham beautiful.

It is hard for me to let go of that.